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Forgive and forget. Easy enough, right? Hardly.
Why is it that when we feel wronged by someone, the only advice sent our way to is “forgive and forget”? It’s because there seem to be only two choices: forgive and move on or continue to let the issue eat you alive.
So, we listen to this standard suggestion and tell ourselves we’ve forgiven, forgotten, and moved forward. Yet, as the blame and the feelings of hurt arise, again and again, we can’t shake the pain.
We desperately want to let it go, but it’s sucking the energy from us daily. In an attempt to hope and wish and plead with ourselves to just forgive and forget, the feeling of betrayal stands strong.
What if there was a way to really say goodbye to all of it – all the stress, negativity and hurt around this moment of betrayal? What if you were in control of letting the emotions sail away – never to return?
News flash! You do. The power is within you to forgive and forget. Within YOU, that is. It doesn’t involve anyone else. There will be no knocks on the door from the one who tore your heart apart with flowers and a rehearsed apology. Your old friend, and now sworn enemy, won’t be calling your phone to tell you how very sorry she is for the hurt she caused you five years ago.
You will be the one to heal yourself. It starts with a commitment to move forward – a strong desire to grab that wasted negative energy back and turn it into a positive force.
So, what’s the magic solution?
- Grab some paper or a journal.
- Sit and write. Put down on paper every single little feeling and emotion related to this person and the unfortunate situation that’s still making you steam. Write until you can’t write anymore – write until you have nothing left inside. Don’t hold back. It may take pages and pages of ink, but the key is to continue writing until you have said it all – on paper.
- Rip the sheets out of your journal or take the loose pages, crumble them up and toss them in the trash…or burn them. You choose!
Yep, that’s right. All that time and energy you just spent thinking and feeling and writing go straight into the garbage. Why? There’s something therapeutic and final when you physically rid yourself of the evidence.
If you’re struggling to forgive someone for something that happened recently or 20 years ago, own the process. Too much of your precious life has been wasted on the past. Free yourself and start your next chapter.